The Bed Monster

There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.  ~Andre Gide

 

Monsters seem to inhabit children's rooms. My eldest is worried about these wee beasties that go bump in the night -- in the dark, his hearing improves and suddenly every thump and bump is something to jump at. Then, the other night, his little brother provided a momentary respite:

Bedtime discussion:

Youngest brother: The bed monster is here!

Older: NO! DON'T! THAT SCARES ME!

Younger: You don't have to be scared of the bed monster.

Me: Honey, if he says it scares him, then please lets not talk about it.

Younger: But he doesn't need to be SCARED! The bed monster is not scary!

Older: He is a green blob with red eyes and a scaley tail!

Younger: Yeah, but he has no arms and no legs.... (a pause) and no nose and no ears and no mouth AND (triumphantly) he doesn't eat little boys! He only eats clothes and stools which he spits out in unexpected places!

Me: OH! Is THAT why I am always tripping over stools?!

Older: (Stifles a snicker) No, I keep moving them.

Younger: No, you move them and then the bed monster eats them and spits them out somewhere else.

Older (Curious despite himself): Does he ever get splinters?

Younger: Not anymore. He used to when he ate wooden stools but he prefers plastic.